Growing up Jewish in two small Eastern towns in the mid 20th century differentiated me from most all of my classmates. Sometimes I felt I belonged to an exotic group. I was allowed to stay home from school on Jewish holidays, partake in special feasts my non-Jewish friends did not and receive holiday gifts for 8 consecutive days in December.

The symbols of Judaism became important: mezuzot (a decorative holder of a small piece parchment on which two of God’s 613 commandments are hand scribed to remind us that God is always present in our lives, and that we should keep God’s words constantly in our minds, in our hearts and on our doorposts), lighting candles on the Sabbath, wearing a Star of David as proudly as my Christian classmates wore their crosses. But there was much that was negative about growing up Jewish too. Jews—the biblically proclaimed chosen people—chosen for what? To be chased by the Catholic school kids on the way home from school. Remembering the first time someone I thought was a friend called me a “Kike.” Being segregated from my Christian classmates at a school Christmas party by an ignorant 5th grade teacher.

Still, it’s the positive things about Judaism that I identify with most. Reading stories of Sholom Aleichem and I.B. Singer put me in touch with my heritage and helped me understand what my grandparents wanted to forget. Singing Israeli songs and dancing the hora, these actions made me feel closer to my aunt, uncle, and cousins who helped build the fledgling state of Israel. Jewish values that became important to the way I live my life: humanitarianism, the generosity of our people, and the fight for human rights. Jewish wit and humor, the love of words, and all that these produce: books, movies, concerts and plays.

But more than all the above are the traditions of the Sabbath—the lighting of the candles. The reading from the Torah during Sabbath services, continued education in Judaism and secular knowledge, teaching children their Judaic heritage, and not least, celebrating the separation of the special days of the Sabbath from the days of the work week by partaking in the closing of the Sabbath Havdallah service.